On Filling Your Own Cup

It's Black History Month, and I am once again led to look inward. This winter has been one of struggle for me, and for a lot of the country. I left a job I really cared for that didn't share the same care for me. I rededicated myself to creating a life where I feel loved and appreciated, where I'm not always pouring from a near-empty cup. Black History Month coinciding with Valentine's Day only amplifies the importance of this for me. So what does it actually mean to fill your cup in a world desperate to suck you dry?

For me, it's resisting the urge to isolate because of the cold – which has been a struggle considering just how cold my apartment gets. On the worst days of this winter, my partner and I spent hours in our bedroom with the space heater, only escaping to pee and grab the DoorDash we can’t really afford (but the kitchen was too damn cold to cook). Outside of those coldest days, I've been returning to the world, attempting to bring about my own personal springtime. This means going to the coffee shop to work, even if I have to bring my own coffee and steal their vibes. It means listening to the amazing Black artists of the past and present, and reminding myself of the strength and beauty of my people. It means reveling in the good company of friends, and recognizing that good times are only a text away. It really means just believing in myself and the journey that I'm on.

I don't know if I believe in fate, but I do know that I come from a lineage of people who have built whole worlds out of scraps, created tapestries from the barest of threads. I am the result of people who have loved despite hardships I will never know, and I am blessed with the opportunity to exist as their triumph. There's a saying in the African American community that often feels cliche, but this month it feels like simple truth: I am my ancestors' wildest dream. There is a peace in that, in knowing that I was born with the honor to live a life of my own design; but there's also an onus that must always be respected. A dedication to going further, to creating more beautiful worlds that my descendants will live even more peacefully in. So this month, I encourage you all to build up the support that makes your life feel beautiful, and build it in ways beyond the material. Spend time with friends and loved ones, leave the cocoon of winter a little early, and remind yourself that you are on just one leg of a journey that stretches out further than your own life. Remember that we're all playing the long game.

News to Know

• Champaign’s attempt to criminalize homelessness fails after swift public outcry (Smile Politely): This article is from January but I wanted to make sure y'all read it! Brian Dolinar does great journalism in the community, and this gives a real inside scoop into the fiasco of the anti-camping ordinance that the Champaign City Council tried to push through this past December.
• Girl, I Guess: A Progressive Voter Guide to the 2026 Primary Election in Cook County and Beyond (Girl, I Guess): The Girl, I Guess voter guide is largely focused on Cook County, but it does also give recommendations for some larger state offices. Since we're not doing much primary coverage this year, this is a great place to start! Girl, I Guess has always been an honest and well-researched voter guide in my experience, so please share with your friends in the Chicagoland area, and check out the local races referenced. (Also full transparency: if you care about the Chicago races, you will see them truly read a politician with the same last name as me. That is not a coincidence, that is my dad lol.)
• Did Doechii just come out as a lesbian? (Out Magazine): This has not been confirmed by Doechii, but even the possibility is very important news to me, so I had to share. 

Lavender Vibes

• Vacancy: Ari Lennox's Vacancy is an album for Black girls in their mid- to late-20s (i.e. me). Ari Lennox is one of those artists that exemplifies young womanhood for me. Shea Butter Baby is an album about growing into your womanhood; youthful uncertainty and chaos and self-exploration. Vacancy, in contrast, is a much more confident album. It's about how it feels to be mature and settled, in your sense of self and your sexuality. Also, this girl loves sex and loves creating music that celebrates Black women in their pleasure. Ari Lennox, you are an icon!!!